To read Part Two, click here.
Let's talk about clothing for a moment. We've all done it. "Honey, does this outfit make me look fat?" Then we turn around and ask him from every angle. What is he supposed to say? "Yes, you look like Shamu." Your man wants you to look good. The Proverbs 31 woman knows how to dress to the nines: "She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth." (Proverbs 31:22, NLT)
Is it possible to dress in a hip, modern, fashionable way and stay modest? These days the concept of modesty has often been forgotten. Let's get real girls: do we need to have plunging necklines? Bare midriffs? Fannies hanging out to be stylish? I am all for staying current with our fashion; just stay modest, too. The basic rule on modesty is that you don't dress in a way that causes other men to stumble, lust or become inflamed in passion. So ladies, you will have to make a choice on how low your shirts will be, how high your skirts will be, where your top will land in your midriff and how tight everything is. Some people believe that women should wear long skirts, long sleeves and zero makeup. That would actually scare my husband!
God is not against us dressing nicely, wearing jewelry or styling our hair, but He is interested in us focusing more on inner beauty and good deeds than outer beauty. As one old preacher used to say: "If the barn needs painting, paint it." That fits a lot of us women! I love how the New Living Bible describes dressing modestly:
"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do." (1 Timothy 2:9-10)
OK, back to your husband's need for sex! In summary, maybe you have some questions or concerns regarding the sexual relationship with your husband. God's best is that the sexual relationship is mutually satisfying and that both partners are comfortable with the sex act. It's important to communicate with one another on the things that bring pleasure and the things that you do not enjoy. People often have questions about things like overcoming the negative effects of past sexual relationships, oral sex, frequency of sex, birth control, etc. There are a variety of Christian books written by experts on these subjects, and I would encourage you to get books from your local Christian bookstore, online or library to learn more about these topics.
Finally, I want to address one other topic that has caused a great deal of pain in marriage, and that is impotency. I've talked to frustrated women whose sexual needs are going unmet because of their husband's inability to perform sexually. He feels like a failure and she is unfulfilled. There are so many dynamics involved that it's often embarrassing and difficult for both the husband and wife to talk about and work through. Thank God we live in a day and age where there are various treatments for these difficulties. I encourage you to be creative in your lovemaking approach and be sure to talk to your doctor about your options.
The Fruit
Treating your husband well will enable him to be the best he can be and will help give you the marriage made in heaven you so desire! His confidence rises, he is satisfied with his wife and family, and he is able to fulfill God's plan for his life. Usually there are challenges along the way and it may seem that all of the "seeds" you are planting aren't producing much of a crop in your marriage or family, but if you will hold your position and continue to do good to your husband, you will see the fruit.
You can make your husband feel like a happy king! Your Christian life and choices to be a godly wife and mom will crown his life and he'll be proud to have you by his side. If you are desperate for a great marriage, with God's help you can have one!
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Copyright © 2007 Beth Jones Ministries All rights reserved.
