Are teens and parents from two different planets? Do we have absolutely opposite sets of values? Is it possible for parents and teens to get on the same page?
Making the connection with our kids is huge. As mentioned last time, I am certainly not an expert but as we pursue our own journey of raising teens and pre-teens, I remember some of the things my mom did to bond with us as teens.
Having “the talk” isn’t the end of informing our kids about sex, it’s the beginning! Sex is on their teenage minds and infiltrating their entire culture. The Internet, reality TV, MTV, locker rooms, movies, music, sleepovers, clothing, just about everywhere they go they are inundated with sexual messages.
Whose moral values do we want our kids to model … the latest pop singer, reality TV show or ours? It’s not the most comfortable chat for many parents, but if we don’t talk about the reality of this sex-crazed world our kids will get lots of misinformation that could end up hurting them.
Are you looking for help in communicating godly values to your teens in the arena of sex? Right now the book that that I am recommending to moms and teens everywhere is the bestselling, “Every Young Man’s Battle – Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation” by Stephen Artburg and “Every Young Woman’s Battle – Guarding Your Mind, Heart and Body in a Sex-Crazed World” by Stephen Artburg and Shannon Ethridge. They don’t pull any punches, but they have hit the pulse of what young people are dealing with these days. It’s a great read for parents and teens.
Another great way to get this topic started is to watch a television show together and talk about their take on the values and sexual messages that were given. Parents, you might be shocked to find out that our kids think that the “test drive” method of dating as glamorized in today's media is considered standard practice for many teens. Have a chat about Real World, A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila and Rock of Love. Whether it’s "girls or boys gone wild" … our teens need help establishing their values in this site, sound and sleeze generation. The lines of right and wrong in the sexual arena are quite blurry for many teens in this generation. They need your clarification.
I was speaking to a friend of mine who is a physician and she said one of the most common, yet least talked about sexually transmitted diseases she sees in teens is Chlamydia which is a “silent epidemic” which when left untreated results in infertility. Kids need parents to clarify the sexpectations! How many promiscious young people will be heartbroken one day to find they can't conceive children due to an STD they didn't know they have!
People often rise to wherever you set the bar – teens are no different. If we set the bar real low; they’ll hit it. If we raise the bar and explain why sex within godly boundaries is a good thing, our teens may raise their standards.
Be bold mom...talk to your kids about your sexpectations!
Beth
