Our seniors have graduated. School’s out. Life is changing.
We have a new graduate, our second daughter, and I love it and hate it. It’s an exciting time for her. I love that our daughter has grown up to be a creative, independent, caring and beautiful person – inside and out. I love where her head is. I love where her heart is. I love where she’s at with God. I love what her future looks like. I hate that she’ll be moving out and going to college. I hate that she won’t be a part of our day-to-day family stuff. I hate that I’ll miss her. It’s great for her…it’s healthy…but it stinks!
I’ve talked to other mothers out there going through the same thing. Their first and in some cases, their only child, is flying the coop. How unfair can it get? We have these darling babies and then ‘poof’...18 years goes by and they are all grown up and moving out.
It’s bittersweet, this whole idea of raising kids. We train them up to leave. And then, they do. How will we survive…how will they survive? I’m not sure…but here’s my best guess at writing a “Mother of the Graduate Survival Guide.”
1. Celebrate their joy, not your loss.
2. Remember, even though they act like big shots, this is a scary time for them, too. Remind them of your confidence in their maturity, wisdom and good judgment as they begin to fly.
3. Take your younger sons or daughters (the ones left behind) on a special trip in the fall, so they don’t feel left in the dust of all the excitement their older sibling is experiencing and so you don’t sit around the house crying!
4. This summer, take the family vacation you’ve always wanted – out west, out east, down south, up north – go somewhere together, even if it’s only for a long weekend. You need a recent family memory before they launch out. Not to mention, you need to get those “sibling fights” out of their system before they leave home.
5. Have “a talk.” By now, let’s hope you’ve had “the talk.” but be sure to have “a talk” before they leave home, only this time be sure to talk about things you really want them to know, to remember and those things you want embossed on their heart. Like, how proud you are of them, what a good brother/sister/daughter/son they have been, how much you love them, how you will be praying for them, how you trust them and how you are always in their corner rooting for them and how you will not bail them out of jail.
6. Give them a $100 phone card and tell them they are to use it exclusively for calling you. Threaten to slap them upside the head if they use it to call anyone else. Determine a reasonable expectation on how often you plan to talk to them…once a week, twice a month, once a day, several times a day (no, cut the strings mom!).
7. Send your child Rice Krispie Treats when they get to college or their own apartment. They will want a warm fuzzy from home and no one is ever too old for Rice Krispie Treats.
8. Find a suitcase big enough for you to fit in. Jump in. Zip it. Shhhh.
Congratulations Mom! You will survive!
Beth
