It’s the 4th of July! Fireworks, watermelon and family vacations! We were at a pastor’s conference a few years ago where Gary Smalley, author and expert on family relationships was asked what makes for a close-knit family. In other words, someone asked how had he created lasting bonds in his own family? We sat on the edge of our seats waiting for his profound response. He answered the question with one word: camping. We laughed.
So, how would you describe your family vacations…sweet memories? Survival? Torture? A kumbaya fest? Is your summer vacation a time for family bondage or bonding? Perhaps you should try camping.
Yes, camping. Think about it. Whether your family is Velcro’d to one another in a tent or pop up camper, or is stuck together in a car, RV, hotel or house boat, for days on end Murphy’s Law kicks in, things go wrong, personality quirks surface, someone forgets their duffle bag, the grill won’t light - it’s chaotic … the perfect environment for bonding.
When dad threatens to pull the car over for the dreaded spanking, when mom tries to referee the personal space issues in the minivan, when the siblings burp in each others faces, when the family photographer snaps shots of everyone in their underwear, when the youngest child irritates the oldest and the middle children start whining…consider your family bonded!
Chaos…that’s the goal! Camping is incidental…it’s the chaos you’re after; the more things that go haywire on your family vacation, the better.
In fact, for the total family bonding experience: create chaos! On your next family outing forget the cooler, leave a suitcase in the hotel room when you check out, track sand into the cottage, drop your camera off a cliff, forget your razor, misplace your bug spray, spill the tackle box in the boat, leave the s’mores kit in the rain…be creative!
Why is the “camping” experience so perfect for creating a close-knit family? As Gary Smalley described it, these chaotic camping experiences end up being the things the kids will talk about for years! You are creating memories that the kids will never forget. Those memories and the constant retelling of those “camping” vacations are the glue that continues to bond families year after year. It’s those knee-slapping stories and the laugh ‘til you cry memories that will cement your family!
How often are your kids going to talk about the perfect vacation where nothing went wrong? Never! They’ve already forgotten about those vacations, but they will remember the trip where dad blew a gasket or when you accidentally left little Jenny at the rest area. They’ll remember the Coke can that exploded in the bonfire and how Kool-Aid shot out of Sammy’s nose when he laughed too hard. They’ll never forget when the canoe tipped or how Katie hooked Josh with her fishing pole. They will always remember how mom looked when she tried to drop a ski and did the splits instead. For years the kids will talk about how much fun they had when their boredom forced them to make a scene at the museum – which of course embarrassed your entire family.
Yes! Embrace the chaos, the snafu’s, the imperfections…your family will be better for it! This summer…I hope your family finds the joy of bonding as “happy campers!”
Beth
